GratefulGuy

Done with law school!!!

2006-05-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

While I doubt if anyone even reads this anymore, I thought I should post this event. I just completed law school today. I completed my last final, and my last requirement for my JD degree. I graduate on May 20th. I can't believe it. It has been a long rode, but I have been changed for the better.

I am very grateful.

GratefulGuy.

My Sad Attempts At Blogging

2006-03-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

I might be one of the most inconsistent bloggers ever! I have no idea if anyone even reads this blog, but I thought I should post something about my life. It has been really, busy if you can imagine.

Here is the update. I have about two months left of law school. I have sent in my application to bar, and have taken the first portion of the bar exam. It has been a whirlwind of an experience. I will have my graduation ceremony on May 2oth and a party on May 21st. I will send out some invites to my friends. I really can't believe three years have sped by so fast. It really freaks me out.

One of the biggest pieces of news happened at work recently. I am a student certified attorny for a gov't agency representings low income individuals. I defend people with all sorts of charges against them. So, on Friday I was in felony court, and I was representing a fellow. As I read the criminal complaint I knew that the charge was bogus. I walked right up to the county attorny, I mean I am just a little old student, and said this charge is terrible and should be dismissed. We opened up the statute book, read the statute together, and determined I was right. He said you are right the case will be dismissed.

This is very rare, and in fact I have never seen it happen at a felony level first appearance in the year I have been there. The guy was facing five years in prision, and I got the case thrown out. My client looked at me and smiled, and said do I need a piece of paper or something? I said no, just get the hell out of here, before they change their minds. The county attorney, shook my hand and said good job.

What an accomplisment. I showed up the county attorney. I am very grateful.

What a disgrace.

2006-02-24T07:22:00.000-08:00

I could not believe the article printed in the 2/24/06 edition of the Star Tribune.

"Anti-gay fury mars funeral of a soldier in Anoka
Protesters from Kansas say God is killing our soldiers because the U.S. tolerates homosexuality."

A group of protestors gathered to espouse their ant-gay message at a funeral held in Anoka yesterday. This group of people represents a group that believes God is American killing soilders because they are fighting for a country that loves homosexuals. This group, organized by Kansas resident Fred Phelps-Roper, yelled at the mother of the fallen soilder. They said that she had sent her own son to hell.

What a disgrace. This is what the right wants to protect? This is what they say gay rights will destroy? Honestly, if this is what we are fighting for we should just lay down our arms and surrender.

Love

2006-02-12T17:52:00.000-08:00

Here is a sweet picture of Grandma and Grandpa GratefulGuy circa 1942. This is before they were even married, and was taken at the Minnesota State Fair.

What a moment captured in time. Both are gone now. My Grandma passed away this October. Grandpa passed away in 1988. They are now together again.

Happy Valentine's Day (a day or two early)

Willingness

2006-02-03T08:02:00.000-08:00

I think I will always be affected by people who relapese in AA. It is like you want to grab hold of them and shake them. Scream and say "Don't you realize what you are doing?" It breaks my heart to see them walk away. I just pray to god that they make it back.

Unfortunately, many do not. I keep coming back, to help the newcomer. I keep coming back to be reminded that there is no solution in drugs and alcohol. I keep coming back to be reminded to pass the message on. I keep coming back to show the newcome my experience, strength, and hope. I keep coming back to see the newcomer.

The wonderful thing is that we never have to drink again, just one day at a time.

The only thing that will give someone the willingness to change is lot and lots of alcohol and drugs. Unfortunately, that amount might be too much for anyone person's body to handle.

So, I will keep coming back. I will not leave before the miracle happens.

2006-01-31T06:54:00.000-08:00

A sad day. One of the pioneer and the first lady of the civil rights movements has died today. She fearlessly carried on her message of equality and non-violence after the death of her husband Dr. Martin Luther King J.R.

Few were as close to the foundation of the movement than she. While she will be missed, Ms. King will live on through the message she carried. The world has truly lost a leader today.

THE KING CENTER: Founded by Ms. King to carry on the message of her equality and non-violence

Excerpts from Martin Luther King J.R.'s "I Have a Dream Speech," given August 28, 1963 Washington, DC.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

Great Website

2006-01-23T06:53:00.000-08:00

I was putzing around on the web the other day and found a really great website:

http://www.xa-speakers.org/

This is not an approved AA website, but it is great nonetheless. This is a site full of MP3 versions of AA and other 12 Step programs. Very cool in the day of IPODS and Podcasts. There are litterally hunderds of speakers.

I find this a great thing to play will chatting online. I need all the help I can get.

Have a great day.

Last Semester

2006-01-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. I am about to dive into my last semester of law school. It really is a bit scary to think that I will be done in May. I have never had to find a professional job before, and it is a bit intimidating. I have never been particulary happy with being judged. Now I have to put what I have learned on a resume and try to sell myself to my employer.

I am confident that god will take care of me, and provide what I need. Just have to have faith.

Don't Mess with Mickey...

2006-01-08T20:18:00.000-08:00

FORT SUMNER, New Mexico (AP) -- A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire.

Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.
Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.

No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.

Unseasonably dry and windy conditions have charred more than 53,000 acres and destroyed 10 homes in southeastern New Mexico in recent weeks.

"I've seen numerous house fires," village Fire Department Capt. Jim Lyssy said, "but nothing as unique as this one."

Don't mess with Mickey...he will get you.

Last Week

2006-01-08T10:05:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe that the last week of vacation is upon me. I went to school and bought my books yesterday. It was really strange to think about this being last semester. May 20th is my graduation from law school. The next 6 months will certainly be busy, because by the end of that period I will be done with the bar exam.

Gratitude. None of this would have happend if I had not been sober. I often say to sponsees that god picked me right out of that bar on Sept 2, 2001 and set me down into an AA meeting. God will do for me what I can not do for myself.

So, with that gratitude I am confidently walking into my last semester of law school sober.

Establishing Boundaries

2006-01-07T08:12:00.000-08:00

I have tried to establish some boundaries in my sobriety. For example, when I was using I really did not understand that there are things that are just not acceptable to me. I would figure, since I was always treating people the way I wanted to treat them, so could they. It has been described to me as, I would follow my addiction wherever it wanted me to go. This attitude got me into situations that were very dangerous and destructive to me. But for the grace of god go I.

This is not the way I have to live today. If I am not treated with the respect I deserve, I can try to change what I can in the situation. Sometimes this can be very hard to do, and one has to recognize when the best thing to do is to walk away. This can be very hard to do.

I work with individuals that can be very active in their addiction. Like when I was actively using, these people treat people very poorly. They lash out at anyone, even if they are trying to help them. However, I don't have to take disrespect anymore.

Unfortunately, for some people I help at work this disrespect does have other legal consequences. I try to tell these people to stop and behave themselves in court, but I can only do so much. Hopefully, they can learn from their mistakes eventually.

Clean Bill of Health

2006-01-04T06:57:00.000-08:00

Well I just had my five week follow-up appointment with my urologist yesterday. He was the surgeon who removed the bacterial infection that was making me very sick this past fall. I have been having a few lagging symptoms, and I was fearful that I was getting sick again.

However, the doctor gave me an almost clean bill of health. He says that everything that he operated on was on the mend nicely. He said that all that he has done was fixed. I am very happy. He did say that if the other lagging symptoms don't stop I have to go back in again to another specialist. We will just not think about that right now.

What I have learned is not to take your health for granted. I did. Never had a primary care doctor, a living will, or health care directive. Now I do, and at least I know my interest concerning my health are protected.

It is a cool thing to see others working the program.

2006-01-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

I had one of those gods moments last night when I got to be on the receiving end of a 9th Step amends. It was the first time I was in this position. It was really a good experience. I of course cried, because I was so happy. Happy more for him and his sobriety.

You know I was talking with a sponsee about 12th Step work. Since the things that life has dealt me this past fall, I have learned a lot about myself. The most important is am I really willing to go to to any lenghts to stay sober? Would I ask someone out to coffee that drives me crazy and a lot of other people crazy? Do I just assume I have that person figured out? Do I just think that he is a sick and crazy person? That he is a bad person? Do people judge me this way?

What if that person never had been given the time of day? What if I had not been given the chance to get sober or loved? What if when we walked into our first meeting they said we don't like your kind here, get sober someplace else? Would I be that crazy too? Just a thought.

I am grateful that I am not judged solely by my outsides. I should try to do that with others as well.

You had to love the 1970s

2006-01-03T07:10:00.000-08:00

Circa: 1979

Happy Friggen New Years

2006-01-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

Things I am most grateful for in 2005:

1. Celebrating 4 years of sobriety, inspite of myself.
2. Finishing Grandma's Marathon...3:50:00.
3. Being there as a sobsor, friend, son, and grandson.
4. Sitting with my grandmother as she made peace with God.
5. Having the strength to ask for help.

Things I am going to be grateful in 2006.

1. Staying sober another year...one day at a time.
2. Graduating from Law School...YAY!!!
3. Passing the bar exam...god willing.
4. Getting my first job as a lawyer
5. Walking through it all with integrity

Keep coming back, it works if you work.

The End of the Year

2005-12-30T13:37:00.000-08:00

Well I have been trucking through break. I have been on vacation now for over a week and half. Actually, been so busy with family, doesn't feel like much of a break. I have had ample of time to waste on the internet. Lord.

I really have to be diligent in staying on top of my spritual program, because if I don't I will act out in all sorts of strange ways. Like for instance, staying up to late. If I get out of whack with my program I start getting less and less sleep. That is a strange new recent twist in my recovery.

I have been struggling to get proper sleep while on vacation. I have been staying up wasting too much time. That really does eventually catch up with me. Thank goodness for meetings and fellowship to keep me in check though.

The Holidays

2005-12-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

At almost every meeting I go to lately the topic is always about families and how that can affect our serenity. Everyone has varying degrees of anxiety about the holidays and seeing the family At the least it throws us out of our routine.

My holiday was an interesting one. As some might know, my family has gone through some challengings times this year. This was the first Christmas without my Grandmother. Last Christmas was the first one without the other one. Anyways, the family is full of crazy alcoholics. A lot of problems that have been around a lifetime for the family. It is very difficult at times to practice the principles of the program. It could be easier to just not show-up.

I choose to go to these events, but this is a personal decision. Like many things in recovery, this decision is very different for each person in recovery. Each has to come to their own decision what is right for them. The opportunities for 12th Step Work is wonderful, but I am glad that I do have a choice.

The good thing that my sponsor points out is that people in AA can be crazy, but at least we don't all go crazy at once. There are times when I am the crazy one, and times when I am the stable one. It is a give and take process, and can equal long term sobriety if we just ask for help when we need it.

The 12th Step

2005-12-23T11:29:00.000-08:00

Having a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to pass this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.

This is the 12th Step of the AA program. This is how we stay sober. We need to pass the message on to alcoholics. This is one of my primary purposes in life. I would have been in big trouble if had I walked into an AA meeting the first time no one reached out to me, instead of giving me their number.

The thing is, one never knows when the opportunity will present itself to do "12 Step work." I have had many opportunities to do it. The most interesting experiences are online. Gay.com 12 step work is very odd, but it will be just as rewarding and helpful. Who would have thought.

Have a nice holiday everyone.

The Day After

2005-12-22T08:38:00.000-08:00

Well...as my brain starts clearing from the fog that is called Wills and Trusts, I am realizing that I have a nice long vacation in front of me.

I just completed the day after final ritual of cleaning my desk. YUCK! As you can imagine it was nasty. I spend most of my time sitting, eating, and sleeping here. My little sweat shop. Well it is clean now and smells like lavender.

Here is an interesting story. Minneapolis is once again thinking street cars. This city had once one of the most extensive systems in the midwest. Like many big deals involving government contracts and businesses, this system was destroyed by under handed dealings with the oil industry. All the tracks were removed, and the last street car was burned in a triumphant picture.

Well fastforward to today. The city has invested $300,000 to conduct a study to see whether to bring back the streetcars back to Minneapolis. I think it is a good idea, but I hate driving. We shall see. Why didn't we just keep the system from the get go?

Made it through one more semester.

2005-12-21T16:55:00.000-08:00

Well I finally finished all my finals...One more semester left to go. Overall I think I did well. I am just glad that it is over. I have one more semester left. Graduate May 20th. The count down has begun.

Now I have vacation till the 17th of Jan.

A Transgendered Deer

2005-12-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

Well I have almost finished my second to last semester of law school. I have only one more final to go...Wills and Trusts...YAY. I am so ready to be done. I am at the burnt out point, where I just want to take the thing and get it behind me. The nice thing is that it will go by very fast.

The way I write this blog is pretty straight-forward. I usually read the newspapers and news online every morning. My topic usually jumps right out to me. Example...today's topic.

This 25 year old in Iowa bagged his first drag queen deer. When Eric of Harpers Ferry was aiming, shooting, and killing the trannie of a deer, he was very surprised that his 14 point buck had no penis. This is the type of story that I feel needs to be placed on my blog, I mean the world needs to know these earth shattering things.

Well this deer is proof that transgendered is a normal god created concept. I wonder if this is some ammo the transgenered community could use to get some legal protection under discrimination laws?

As you can see, I am extra random today. I think it is the law school burnout. Have a nice day...and remember to never judge anything by appearance alone.

2005-12-15T15:11:00.000-08:00

I'll Never Drink Again

2005-12-15T14:57:00.000-08:00

With one of the biggest public examples of alcoholism, Mayor of Duluth, Herb Bergson, denied he had a drinking problem. After a little DWI accident incident this past weekend. OOPS....never a good idea for a mayor of a city. What was even worse was that his sad picture was posted all over the place. He is swearing off alcohol forever..."I'll never do that again."

Well any alcoholic knows that saying. I feel so shitty, and I will never do that again. Flash forward to the next night...shit...i am drunk again. This is called the alcoholic insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different resutl. I should never call anyone else a drunk, but it is hard to bite my tounge with such a public display of insanity. He asked for it.

Oh well...the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Light up your Camel Lights Girls

2005-12-13T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Minneapolis City Council made history today. They became one of the few jurisdicitons nationwide to back peddal on the issue of a smoking ban. They have become one of the few that have caved under pressure to scale back their recently passed smoking ban. Starting Dec 31, 2005...Happy New Years! Where is my smokes....bars where liquor supplies over 50% of their income can obtain a permit to allow smoking indoors. Cough!

When I was smoking I never thought I would be one of those guys that got annoyed at smoking. When I was drinking and smoking, I would not dare go to the bar without 2 packs of smokes. I was one of those guys that lit his cig on the wrong end and burned you if you weren't careful. I never once thought about you and your nonsmoking friends. If you don't like it leave.

Fast forward four years, and i have completed 2 marathons under four hours. I don't care if anyone smokes, or that they smoke in bars. I will just suffer or not go out to those places, I won't stand around and bitch about...except in my blog. I am just sad that the city council voted the way they did. I liked going out and not smelling like ass afterwards. I guess it is back to leaving my coat in the car, so it doesn't need to be dry cleaned.

Hey you got a smoke I can bum...I smoked all mine.

One Down

2005-12-11T15:37:00.000-08:00

I am brain dead after my final, so no witty blog for you today. Corporations final is done...3 hours...about 15 typed pages...thank god it is over. Next up Law of Juvenile Deliquency.

Insurance Company Hell

2005-12-09T09:35:00.000-08:00

In my first of law school my contracts professor, who was also at one point in house counsel for a major insurance company, said that there is a special place in hell for insurance companies. Those were one of those quotes that just stuck with me all the way through law school. The way she said and her firm belief in it made me want to take insurance law. After that class, I was under the firm belief that she was right.

However, what I read this morning solidified my belief that those people are cold hearted bastards. Essex Insuarnce Company has decided not to cover under an insurance policy a pair of the original ruby slippers from the "Wizard of OZ" that were stolen recently from a Northern Minnesota Museum. The museum is in Grand Rapids, MN, the birthplace of Judy Garland, a sort of mecca for Fags. Well, I might be pushing it, but she is an icon to gay pop culture.

I wonder if this denial of an insurance claim is based on more than a general exclusion of a policy. Could it be based on homophobia? I also read a couple of days ago that Focus on the Family was pulling out all their money from all Wells Fargo Institutions because of their stance on GLBT rights. It is true the money talks. The good thing that the GLBT community does have a lot of money, and we should use that to support GLBT friendly organizations.

Whatever the case may be, watch out for the insurance companies...they are all in it for the money.

Business's Social responsibility?

2005-12-07T07:57:00.000-08:00

Ford recently announced that it will no longer promote it luxury automobiles in GLBT publications. The had already not advertised their other automobiles in those places, but their lagging luxury car line will be excluded now as well. This comes at a time when the boycott of Ford by the American Family Association ended. This conservative group boycotted Ford over the pro-gay stance. After ending the protest, they said that their issues with Ford are being resolved. Ford says they are doing this for a business reason.

This brings up the issue of social responsibilities of businesses, and if there even such a thing required. While directors and officers of a corporation do have a duty to the corporation and shareholders, do they also have a duty to the society at large? I mean look at Target. They by far have the best social policy of many organizations. They give millions of dollars to communities every year. However, one could argue that this money should go into the business and/or the shareholders. What about a company's good will that goes towards improving business? An argument could be made that some people some at Target because of the fact that Target gives back to the community. Then one could argue that money given to the community will, in the long run, help the bottom line of the corporation. One could see why giving back and taking a stand for important rights and liberties of society would not only be ethical but a duty of a corporation.

Anyways, it is a pretty complicated topic, and I have a corporate law final coming up, so I better shut up. I am confusing myself.

Bottom line: be aware of Ford's actions before you buy one.

God Save The Queen

2005-12-05T09:35:00.000-08:00

Another reason why Republicans suck...The United Kingdom now has legal civil unions. While not called marriage, they have all the same rights and obligations as a hetrosexual marriage. The UK is among a growing list of intelligent and refreshing countrys that believe that homosexuals deserve equality of rights given to a loving committed couple.

What amazes me is that this comes from a country that has just recently extended their normal bar hours from 11pm to 24 hours. This is striking, because the US has had longer bar hours for years. Now if only the Republicans would care about GLBT rights as they do about their alcohol, we would all be in great shape. Until then, gays will still be shunned, and we will all suffer the consequences of drunk driving and idiot presidents.

George W. Bush sucks.

Masa

2005-12-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

I went to a new mexican restaruant downtown Minneapolis called Masa. It was pretty good, but I have to make a few observations.

* I think I am truly American to the bone. The portions I got at that place were two damn small. If I don't walk out of a place feeling ill, because I ate too much, I feel swindled. I ordered the enchiladas. They were good...but all I got was two of them...no beans, rice, or piles of lettuce/tomatoes/olives. I love art, but when I want to eat, I better get full.

* The waiter was creepy. It is one of those places where the waitstaff invades your personal staff. Understand, that I have been a waiter for nearly a decade now. I just don't want some guy getting in my face and asking me if I don't understand anything on the menu. Plus I he had bad breath. EWW.

* Lastly, the place had one two many housewives from Edina. This one lady, I swear looked like she was a Texas republican for sure. A full floor mink coat, and the biggest blonde hair you had ever seen. I am sure her outfit cost more than my car. I just laughed and smiled.

Overall, it was nice. I just like to bitch. Plus, it is always fun to see how the other side lives.

RENT

2005-11-30T13:24:00.000-08:00

New Anti-Meth Campaign Ad

2005-11-29T08:04:00.000-08:00

Click the above picture to watch the ad.

I have never personally used Meth, but have had my fair share of other mood altering chemicals in my past. I always say that I used whatever was put in front of me, and Meth was never put in front of me. Knowing the power of addiction personally, I would never underestimate the power of this drug. I also know the ravages of this drug by hearing the stories of my friends who have struggled with this addiction themselves.

Being sober now for over four years, it still amazes me to see a person destroyed by drug addiction. Nothing breaks the heart of a recovering alcoholic more than to see someone turn their back on the solution. When someone believes that this time it will be different, breaks my heart. This belief is when an addict believes that they can control their alcohol or drug abuse this time. For us who are still living in the solution, we realize how misguided this belief. But for the grace of god go I.

This is a new ad campaign created by the Partnership for a Drug Free America. They are releasing this new TV ad, to some people disgust. I feel it is a pretty good look inside the sadness of addiction.

The wonderful thing about this though, is that there is a solution. All one needs to do is ask for it.

2005-11-28T19:20:00.000-08:00

Battle of the Days

2005-04-16T09:58:00.000-07:00

I had a interesting experience this week. The GLBT student org that I am co-chair of decided to participate in the Day of Silence. This day is to provide awareness of the silence suffered by the GLBT community that perpetuates inequalities.

All was going well until, to our dismay, we found that the hateful Republicans have created their own day called the Day of Truth. What a great day of truth.

In response to some hate crimes that have been occurring at Hamline University, the undergraduate GLBT group (Spectrum) and the law school GLBT group (Stonewall Alliance) have planned a rally of support. It will be held on Wed. April 20th from 5 pm to 7 pm. There will be a strong showing from the Hamline community. Some speakers include: The Dean of the Law School, several Deans from the undergrad, a host of professors from the law school, student org leaders, Hamline's chaplins, Anti-Violence Director from OutFront, and members of the Minnesota Lavender Bar Association. If you feel inclined, come and down and show your support.

GratefulGuy

The Flu

2005-04-15T15:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry I have not blogged lately, but have been laid up with the flu. Yucky. I am hoping that I am on the mend. Have not broken out in cold sweats in about three hours.

Hope all are well...

GratefulGuy

Fellowship

2005-04-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

I had a really great weekend. I spent it with great AA friends. We watched two movies this week in two marathon movie and eating sessions.

On Saturday we watched Queens of Comedy, which is a stand up comedy act with four African American women. It is so funny. I mean they are so inappropriate. I love it. There were about 8 of us over at our friend Jason's house. We had so much food. Fried Chicken, Pizza, Pizza Pockets, Salads, fruit, cookies, and a ton of soda. I ate so much food I could barely sit.

On Sunday nite after a meeting at a sober house we watched Contact and pigged out on ice cream and cake. I love peanut butter and chocolate ice cream from haggen daas. I ate like 3 bowls of ice cream. Yummy.

Thank god i am training for a marathon. I ran a totally of 24 miles on sat and sun, so I didn't feel a bit guilty about eating that much.

GratefulGuy

Gay Discrimination Comment

2005-03-31T08:02:00.000-08:00

"The constitution cannot control prejudices but neither can it tolerate them. Private biases may be outside the reach of the law, but the law cannot, directly or indirectly, give them effect."

This is a quote from former Chief Justice Warren Burger.

I really think that this is a great way to explain why the courts should grant equal protection to GLBT people. This quote was discussed in case where the court reversed the revocation of a white parent's visitation rights because she had remarried an African American man. Previously, courts had seen this as being a justifiable reason to revoke visitation. Courts now look to whether the actions of the parent harm the child. Courts have currently begin to use this analysis when looking at visitation rights of GLBT parents.

Gratefulguy

Prayer

2005-03-29T15:00:00.000-08:00

Requiem for a Dream

2005-03-28T14:16:00.000-08:00

I watched a good movie with my friend Jason last nite. Requiem for a Dream. It is an interesting look inside addiction and the downfall of a person. It makes one really consider how fragile a person's sanity is and how much of a miracle it is that we made it out alive. If you have a chance check it out.

Isn't it beautiful out today. Spring has sprung, and a time to make new beginnings. I have recently recommitted to my program. Doing 90 meetings in 90 days, calling my sponsor daily, and starting the steps over. I think this will give me a shot in the arm and bring me back down to earth.

GratefulGuy

Happy Easter

2005-03-27T05:58:00.000-08:00

Well, Easter means that spring is right around the corner for us in Minnesota. I cannot wait. There is something about the change of seasons that makes me incredibly grateful to be sober. Part of it has to do with the fact that it is so wonderful to be present today to actually enjoy nature. Another wonderful thing about it is that in just a few short months the lakes in Minneapolis will be bursting with hot gay men. HEHE...

Anyways, my marathon training program is kicking into full force now. I have to get out and run 14 miles today. I swear if I have to run one more time bundled up like an Eskimo I will scream. Actually, I love running in the winter. It is quiet, peaceful, and uncrowded. Constantly worrying about falling has its drawbacks, but I could never personally run on the treadmill. Boring. In a few weeks I can start working on the tan while running, and that is a great benefit of marathon training.

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday, and feel free to comment on my rants and raves on this thing. I must have someone who reads this thing.

GratefulGuy

"Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith."
-- Adel Bestavros

Choices

2005-03-25T21:58:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest choices we have in recovery is whether we want to live in the problem or the solution. When we live in the solution it wonderfully vanishes after a time. However, if we choose to live in the problem it will continue to haunt us.

I have recently learned this painful lesson. My sponsor had convinced me to cut ties with this person. I had successfully done that for a few days. This person and I had a very crazy past. Well, I took back control and thought that I knew better and resumed contact. Surprise. It was crazy again.

Insanity means doing the same thing expecting different result. At the meeting tonite this woman said that she was mouthing the words of the steps and the sayings on the wall, but she didn't really do them. I am really taking a good look at my program and what I can do to tweak things. It is helpful for me to do this, otherwise I get a bit to complacent.

GratefulGuy

What is next?

2005-03-25T06:15:00.000-08:00

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting on Wednesday nite. I have heard many members of AA talk about going to Al-Anon meetings. I just thought I should go and see what was the deal. Much of it was very similar to AA...Sitting around drinking coffee chatting about our experience, strength, and hope. They even had the same steps, quoted the Big Book, and read mediations. However, while I have worked through the steps several time, with multiple sponsors, I have never viewed them quite like this. This was a completely different way to look at the steps.

At first I felt completely out of place, but I have been sober in AA long enough to know that was my disease talking. I felt like I didn't belong, or I didn't meet the requirements, but again I knew if I had gone to the trouble of finding the meeting I probably belonged.

It was a great meeting. I met some really nice and welcoming folks. It basically comes down to this. I have been sober long enough to want some peace and serenity. In my life I have continually had problems forming personal relationships with others. I often feel like I come across as distant, uncaring, aloof, and unapproachable. Anyways, I just feel like I want a little help and understanding about relationships with others. What the heck it can't hurt right? One thing I have learned in AA is the HOW of the program. Honesty, openness, and Willingness. This is the key to a healthy and fruitful sobriety, and I hope to better personal relationships with others.

Grateful Guy.

"Today, I will know that I don't have to worry about anything. If I do worry, I will do it with the understanding that I am choosing to worry, and it is not necessary." The Language of Letting Go p. 82

The End

2005-03-23T09:15:00.000-08:00

Well, I had to finally pull the plug on the any contact with the ex. It was just not healthy for either one of us. We were driving each other crazy. Flying in and out of each other's life was not good. It prevented either one of us from moving on. My sponsor and I did a first step on it last nite, and I came to the conclusion that I just needed to break away. It was very messy, and he was very pissed. I really wanted to stay friends, but it does not seem possible at this moment. Right now, I just need to get good with god, AA, my friends, and most importantly my self. Hopefully, I use what I have learned here to better myself as a person.

GratefulGuy

Different Phases of My Recovery

2005-03-22T08:33:00.000-08:00

As, I have been sober for nearly 3 and half years, life has changed quite a bit for me since that first day I walked into an AA meeting. I no longer live in Washington DC, I have left my supervisor job at a coffee shop I was working at, and I have moved to Minneapolis. With all of these changes comes with it a new perspective of ones self and how ones reacts to the world.

I have worked very hard to go through the 12 steps of AA. I have come to swallow some major things about myself. For instance, I have been ruled by fear a lot in my life. I have made a lot choices in life based on fear. I have reacted to a lot of people in my life based on fear. Here is a very interesting quote from the big book that I found eye opening to me. This quote talks about people we encounter in life.

"Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed in a position to be hurt." Alocholics Anonymous, pg. 62

What is next in my sobriety I don't know, but what I do know is my higher power will place something in front me that I can learn from.

GratefulGuy

Marathon #2 and Keeping Sane

2005-03-19T08:03:00.000-08:00

Morning Fellow Bloggers,

I have decided that I should dive into another marathon training program this spring. I really did love the twin cities marathon. It was a challenging experience to test one's physical limits like that. I am one of those people that has always found the time I spend running like meditation. With my marathon training my 20 mile runs gave me ample time to think and watch the world as I listened to the steady pounding of my feet on the pavement. It was really was quite wonderful.

I feel like right now this site could be used by me to just get out some stuff that I have been dealing with. For the last eight months I have been in a relationship. This was actually my first, since during my drinking career I was too scared to ever allow anyone into my life like that. Last summer I decided that I need a boyfriend. My sponsor shook his head and said, "Be careful what you pray for." So, in late September my Grandma mother died of terminal lung cancer (please try to quit smoking), I ran my first marathon (this was super cool), I started my second year of law school (stop the insanity), and I found my long awaited boy friend (the insanity will be explained later).

Anyways, I got it and I learned a lot from it, but in some aspects it was very destructive. Some of the things that I learned about myself:

- I will give my whole life over to someone else (ahh alanon anyone?)
- I am a little sensitive (another confirmation that I am an alcoholic)
- I will can make anything my drug of choice (even people in my life)
- I truly can be in a relationship with someone (this was a major thing I questioned)
- I can not go through life alone (Thank god for the AA fellowship)
- AA will save my butt (But for the grace of god go I)

I am pretty open book person. I am not sure if this is a good or bad trait, but it is what it is. I hope by my sharing a little bit about myself will help some others who have had difficulities. However, for now I have to go run 6 miles in the new fallen snow...I really just want to sit on my butt.

GratefulGuy

Back Online

2005-03-16T09:39:00.000-08:00

Well guys I have been so sporadic in writing this blog, but now i am going to try to enter back into the blog world.

Here are some updates of me and what I have been up to.
- just broke up with my bf of 8 months
- one more year left of law school (thank god)
- running another marathon (Grandma's Marathon in Duluth on June 18)
- Still sober...3.5 years plus
- and still crazy as hell

I have been going through a real rough time lately. The bf and I were involved in a very insane and intense relationship. It finally ended with us agreeing that we were not good for each other. As my sponsor says, a collusion of character defects. It sucks, because I still really love the guy, but I didn't get sober to be insane all the time. So here I am entering the world of singlehood again. We will see where this adventure will take me.

Entering back into blog land,

GratefulGuy.

Canadians open arms to Americans

2004-11-15T11:22:00.000-08:00

SEATTLE, Washington (AP) -- Rudi Kischer wants to help those Americans who have the post-election blues after U.S. President George W. Bush's second-term victory.

Here is a little story, and possibly a little help for of those of us who will feel disenfranchised the next four years with Bush. Hope all had a good weekend, and got some rest. I can't believe next week is Thanksgiving. At least here in Minnesota we have not seen a lot of snow yet.

Toodles.

The Man of Your Dreams?

2004-11-12T11:48:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder if that man you are with is the man of your dreams? Or is he just the man of the hour? Ever get a little mental about what a man says or does. I have been contemplating this a bit myself, although a little obsessively. My good friend suggeted the book: "He Just Not That Into You." It is a quick little read, and is pretty insigtful into some bad relationship mistakes.

Something that has caught mine mind today.

Toodles

Relationships in Recovery

2004-11-10T13:12:00.000-08:00

I have just passed the two month mark dating this guy. Being sober a little over three years, it is a little crazy at times. I have been using a good deal of my friends to get advice about the situation and what I should do, because at times I feel completely out of touch. I mean I often get so mental about this situation.

Some of my bigger charecter defects are fear and control, and both of these have had cause to emerge since I have started dating this guy. I am never good at not being able to control things, and I have had some a few moments of insanity since I started dating him. I have forgotten how to turn things over and let god take over many times since I have started dating him.

One example of this is that he wants to still be able to meet friends and go out and hang out with them. While I don't have a problem so much with that, I do have a problem with meeting them in chat rooms. I was getting driven crazy by seeing him online even though he has never done anything to show that he is cheating or ever would. However, believing intellectually and emotionally decided are two different things. I found myself logging on to see if he was online and when he last went online, nuts i know. So instead of living in that insanity, for now, I just deleted my account and decided to trust him. I also had a good chat with my sponsor, and a few AA friends and most said the exact same thing: they would be uncomfortable with that, but it is my decision to see what I can put up with.

So for now the situation is turned over to god, and the results are for him to decide.

Your AA in a relationship nutburger.

who wants to move to canada with me?

2004-11-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

Well, here we go. Another four years of Bush. I had a sneaking suspicion that this was going to happen, but I had to keep my mouth shut. I am really mad, but AA principles tell me that acceptance is the key to all my problems, and I need to figure out the lesson to learn from this situation...DAMN IT!!!!!

Anyways, the boy friend doesn't like politics, but when i told him that Bush had won this morning, he said in his sleepy voice, I am sorry. What a sweety. It made waking up to another four years of Bush a lot easier with a cute boy friend in bed next to you.

Sigh...I will be 31 in the next presidential election, and be a lawyer, now that is scary. Hopefully, America will still be in one piece in four years. They bigots got their way, now I hope they don't cause to much havoc.

Toodles,

Your democrat in mourning.

GOOD GOD

2004-11-02T17:15:00.000-08:00

I am so fricking nervous, I am about to spit. I am just sitting here watching the election results, and about ready to shit. I am such a political nut, that I am sitting here despite an invitation by my boyfriend to come over for a homemade meal. He can't stand politics. Go figure.

Say a little prayer.

GO KERRY, GO!!!!!!

Chicken Night

2004-10-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

The boy and I went out to chicken night last night. No, that is not some crazy all you can eat at KFC, it is 18 up night at the Saloon. We had not been for a long time, since why go when you are dating really? Just a bunch of drama filled boys looking to get laid. When you have a steady boy, the bars are just not as fun. We are still at that stage when we can't get enough of each other. I never thought that I was a PDA kind of person, but lo and behold I can't keep my hands off him in public. Maybe, it is just my way to say to the boys out there stay away he is mine.

Anyways, I am so glad that this election will be over on tuesday. I am aboslutely sick of hearing about it. I will go and vote of course because I need to do my part to vote that dumb bastard out of office. Hope you all do the same.

Have a nice weekend

2004-10-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

Yah!!! I just finished running a marathon!!!

Holy Shit!

2004-10-26T17:32:00.000-07:00

I don't even know if anyone even reads this blog anymore since it has been way to long since i have posted on it. Life has been very great, but extremly busy for me these last months.

Some of things that have happened to me.

1. I finished the Twin Cities Marathon. I ran it in 3 hours and 50 minutes.
2. I got into a relationship. 6 weeks and counting
3. I took part in a trial at work. We won the case!
4. I have been totally consumed with law school.

I have not decided whether or not I want to keep this blog going, but I am going to give a shot for a few more weeks.

I will try to be better at this.

Well, life is just zipping along

2004-09-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

I have been diligently working at school and the law firm for about a month now. It is amazing all the work I have done. I just finished writing my first motion. It was a motion to exclude evidence from trial. The funny thing is I have never written a motion, and have not taken evidence yet. To say the least, I am glad the lawyer reads it before it heads out of the office to court.

Besides that..the countdown to the marathon is ticking. October 3rd. I expect a little cheering for me that day. My mommy will be waiting for me at the finish line, but it will be nice to have some fans along the way.

http://www.twincitiesmarathon.org/

Well should get to bed. Take Care.

Garden State

2004-09-11T20:41:00.000-07:00

I just got home from watch Garden State. It was a very good movie. A little over the top at times, but well worth the money.

http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/gardenstate/

The marathon is a little over two weeks away. This is my last long distance running week. 50 miles this week...then i dramatically cut down the distances. I am looking forward to it...it will be nice to have some more free time too.

Have a nice day.

First Day

2004-09-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well I had my first day working at my internship at the law firm. I felt like a real grown-up. Now, for all of you who have been doing this type of get dressed up and head down to an office for years might not understand why I feel so excited. I have had a long journey to find my place in life. I took a long detour through drugs and alcohol, and it has only been in the last few years that I feel that I have found something that I like to do.

Anyways, I got on my shirt and tie on and jump on the LRT and headed down town. I got there early, so I sat down at my very own desk and waited for the IT guy to set-up my computer. It was a interesting day. I spent my time I had there pouring over the depositions of some the witnesses we deposed for the trial we have coming up. It was fun. For now it seems like a good match for me. I enjoy the structured nature of it all, and I enjoy actually working in a field that I have been trained in.

Labor Day Weekend

2004-09-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

I have so busy lately that I have not had the chance to update my blog. I guess with all the things on the burner right now, this unfortunately has been neglected.

I have been diligently plugging away at my reading assignments for my classes. While most are fairly interesting, they consume far to much time in my life. However, now that I am working at a firm in downtown Minneapolis part time I try to get my reading done during the weekend.

In terms of the job at the firm, it has been great so far. It is exciting to actually see something that I am interested in doing. I have been floundering for so many years now that it is great to find a passion. We are currently involved in a major lawsuits against a national insurance agency. They are trying to get around paying some of their employees overtime. The Fair Labor Standards Act is a federal statute, but MN has one of their own too, and it governs over-time pay and who should get it. It is so interesting to see how a huge multi-million dollar lawsuit can surround just one phrase or term and its disputed meaning.

Interesting Links:

http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/ (Department of Labor)

http://www.lectlaw.com/files/emp39.htm (Guide to the Fair Labor Standards Act)

The Big Day

2004-09-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

Well today is my AA aniversary. I have now been officially drug and drink free for three years. I can't believe it. I remember the first day I walked into an AA meeting, was scared shitless and thought you all were a bunch of nut jobs. Know, I have come to find such love and friendship in those rooms, and I am thankful for finding them. Those rooms and what I have learned in them have really saved my life. While not everyday is great, my worst days now are better than my best days back then, and for that I am very grateful.

Keep coming back, it works if you work it.

News of the Creepy

2004-08-31T09:53:00.000-07:00

Would you like a beautiful diamond ring. Of course, it is a girl's and a gay man's best friend right. Who wouldn't want a little piece of beauty perched daintily on your finger for all to see and admire?

Well how about a diamond made from the ashes of your loved one? I am not kidding. www.lifegem.com is a company that specializes in making diamonds. They take the ashes from your cremated loved and compress them through a process, and in six months you can walk around with your loved on your finger. GROSS! I don't know it just strikes me as very odd that someone would think about doing this for a buck.

Here is the article if you are interested in my source. http://www.startribune.com/stories/462/4956523.html

A Magic Pill

2004-08-30T15:25:00.000-07:00

Today at Cnn.com I was reading an article about using a pill to find that elusive cure to alcoholism and drug addiction. It always make the hair on the back of my neck stand up to think about a magic pill to cure my addiction. I believe that, for me, it is a dangerous proposition to even think about taking a pill like that, because it only severs to strengthen the insane thinking that I have about alcohol.

Basically, the disease of alcoholism can be described in a very simple way. First, I have a physical allergy to alcohol, much like people have allergies to say peanuts. Basically, it just doesn't act the same way in my body as in others. Secondly, I have a predisposed obsession over alcohol. This means that I am obsessed with that feeling of escape, euphoria, oblivion I get when I am drunk. What happens to alcoholics is like a person who is allergic to bees running through a beehive. Insane thinking? You got that right.

So, I am little Leary about playing Russian roulette with these new drugs. I just think that I will stay with good old fashioned meetings, mediation, sponsorship, and a Big Book.

Here is an interesting link with a lot of information on alcoholism. http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/

An way to get clients

2004-08-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

Check out this article. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4623826/print/1/displaymode/1098

This is a new form of ambulance chasing that is emerging in the legal profession. It is amazing to me that this is a practice among states. Basically, the county will sell your recent arrest report to a lawyer so that the lawyer can directly solicit you for their services. While some states have made this act illegal, others have not. I just seems very disturbing that ones personal information is being advertised like that to others.

In my practicum we were discussing marketing and trying to get clients in a world that has so many lawyers. Lets face it is a business and businesses need to compete to get your money. I am not saying I think that this is a good practice, but just am becoming more and more aware of the competitive nature of the business.

The Golden Palace

2004-08-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

No, this is not the name of some new kinky sex club opening up on Lake Street in Minneapolis it is the name of the spin-off to the Golden Girls. The Golden Girls, for those who don't know was a terribly campy little sit-com that aired in the 80's and 90's featuring some old woman hanging around Florida with to much time on their hands.

Anyways, my roomie and I got into this little debate the other day about whether there was more than one spin-off to the Golden Girls. Yeah, I know this is sad, but just a little insight into our lives. He said that there was only one spin-off, Empty Nest.

http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-499

However, I said that there was one more spin-off from the Golden Girls, but he insisted that I was cracked. So, being the good neurotic person that I am, I looked it up to prove him wrong.

The second spin-off from the Golden girls....Golden Palace.

http://www.the-goldengirls.com/Palace/palace.html

So there...

What do you think about lawyers?

2004-08-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

I am taking a practicum this semester, which is basically a internship for lawyers. The difference is that we need to be certified by the supreme court of Minnesota to practice law under the supervision of a licensed attorney.

I just got my placement today. I will be working in a firm in downtown Minneapolis that specializes in class action lawsuits. The thought of actually working in a professional setting, since I have never done it before, and working in my chosen field for the first time is a little nerve wracking. However, I am excited to be starting this next phase of my journey.

One thought that I was pondering and we were discussing in my professional responsibility class was how people feel about lawyers and why. I think that the number one reason for client dissatisfaction over their lawyer was not being kept informed and the cost. I was wondering if anyone cared to comment about how they feel about lawyers and why?

Getting into the swing of things

2004-08-24T10:47:00.000-07:00

Well my time for blogging has been drastically reduce on account of the work load at school. Just thought that I would update anyone who cares.

In my admin law class the other day, the class became embroiled in a debate about why should the government enter into the field of regulating smoking in bars and food service establishments. I am always really surprised to see the different sides of arguments in law school, and how passionate people get about them.

The whole debate came down to the question of whether or not you think government regulation as it now stands is a good or a bad thing? Of course, the range of republicans and democrats are evident at school. Some people think that it is a public health issue and that the government should regulate smoking like they regulate our exposure to toxic waste. While others see it as a freedom issue. Basically, if you don't like it don't come to our establishment, or if you don't want to work in a smokey environment get another job.

The whole debate made me question where I stand on the issue of a smoking ban, and relatedly whether government regulation is too pervasive in our lives.

http://www.smokefreecoalition.org/ (for ban)

http://www.geocities.com/~msrc/ (against ban)
Hope everyone is having a fabulous week.

Saturday Tidbits

2004-08-21T07:35:00.000-07:00

Well my first week back at law school seems to have gone off without a hitch. Just the requiste hundreds of pages to read for the weekend on such fun filled topics as Unfrair Competition and Insurance Law.

Law school goes something like this.

First year they scare you to do death
Second year they work you to death
Third year they bore you to death

My challenge, at least for the next couple of months is to maintain my sanity as I train for the marathon(I am now at 50 miles per week), fulfill all my obligations that goes with having 15 credits in law school, and work 15 to 20 hours a week at my internship. MMM...this doesn't sounds like balance to you does it?

Fun Little Links:

The biggest oops of the day (or possibly the decade).

A man was relased after spending 40 years in prison for a crime that he coerced to confess.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/LAW/08/20/wrongful.conviction.ap/index.html

The link to serenity.

This is a good little magazine that one can read if they need a little time to reflect on what means to be in recovery.

http://www.aagrapevine.org/currentGV/table_of_contents.html

Have a great Saturday.

The Law School Report

2004-08-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

I am back in law school. Gone are the days of taking two hour naps in the afternoon and sleeping in till 10 am. Actually, I am quite excited to be back to school. This is the second year, the year that they suppossedly work you to death. I can already believe it.

I just read this little article that made me think what in the world is going on? What type of lawyers do we really want out there? Jerry Falwell and his own law school? What a crazy world? Check the website of his university and law school. http://www.liberty.edu/

Last Day of Summer Vacation

2004-08-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well summer is officially over for me starting tomorrow. Actually, today was back to the books too. Today I was immersed in the workings of the federal government. It is actually pretty interesting. I have been studying Admin Law and what gives executive agencies the power to legislate and judge cases. Really quite interesting, but I am a little crazy though. I am actually quite ready for the change of pace in my life. I was getting sick of waiting tables at Tgifridays. I have an internship this fall, so between that, a full time course load, and the marathon will be busy.

Oh, by the way I just saw Fahrenheit 9/11. I just have one question that always seems to come up? How in god's name did anyone vote for George W. Bush, and how can it be such a close race.

The Car Problems Part II

2004-08-17T09:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had the feeling when you are driving down the freeway and your car breaks down...It is like shit...Now what? Well that happened to me last night as I was driving past the MOA on 77. My car, that I just got fixed broke down. Damn...I hate this car. Plus, I have no cell phone, and no AAA so I had to walk along the busy freeway to the nearest phone to call a tow truck. 100 bucks later, for the tow, I have my car back at the repairman again, while I sit and wait for it to get fixed. I don't know how my karma got all out of wack..but it is getting old.

The ad is still out for a hunky gay mechanic...I am sure it will be well worth your time.

Hey check out the crazy video on www.wandawisdom.com entitled "handyman." You might recognize some of the actors.

Marathon Update

2004-08-15T20:18:00.000-07:00

Well I am about eight weeks away from my first marathon. October 3 is the Twin Cities Marathon...I expect to see a few people cheering me on..hint..hint

The training is getting pretty crazy right now. I am running 50 miles a week. Tonight I ran 18 miles. I can absolutly say that I will be able to finish this thing. However, I am beat tired today, and will sleep well tonight.

Here is the training program i am following.

http://www.halhigdon.com/marathon/Mar00index.htm

Have a good Monday!!

An Interesting Debate

2004-08-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

While I was catching up on the news at CNN I came across this interesting article about a man that needed a liver transplant. This article raises a very interesting legal debate. Mainly should it be legal for one to get an organ for transplant by advertising that need and consequently surpassing the normal transplant donor list?

The donor transplant list is governed and regulate by various national, state, local, and private organizations. All are set-up to govern the fair distribution of organs. However, after a person dies are these organs considered this persons property which can be devised in a will or do they become property of the state to be dispersed as the states sees fit?

While this man no doubtedly is a fine man with a loving family, but what about the people that were waiting on the list that he surpassed by getting a specific donation from a family? Shoud organ donations be governed by the amount of money you have, and the rich have the ability to get transplants faster because of their ability to advertise...or let say even pay for the organ?

Here this the website that this guy used to get his donation...http://www.toddneedsaliver.com/

Here is a website of an organization that helps regulate organ donations...http://www.unos.org/

Desiderata

2004-08-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

Desiderata means: Things considered necessary or desirable.

I was given this piece of prose by a man at an AA meeting once, I found it highly inspirational.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.--- Max Ehrmann, 1927

Easy Come and Easy Go

2004-08-10T13:42:00.000-07:00

Well what was supposed to be a nice day off turned into a pricey little adventure. I am about ready to return to school next week so I headed over to Hamline School of Law to buy the necessary texts. While, it was not as bad as first year it still cost me about $500!!! Don't worry the day gets even more expensive. Well, my car has been making a lot of noises lately. Now it is a 1997 Ford Escort, a people mover, with a 142,000 miles on it, so you expect it to make a certain amount of noises. However, it seemed to me like the muffler had fallen off or something. It really makes one feel a little white trash driving around without a muffler. Well not only had the muffler totally blown out the long pipe that runs to the engine had snapped in half. This only cost me another $400 bucks. Oh, and by the way the mechanic said, your fuel pump sounds like it is going out, and your battery is leaking. Wow, this is great...Not only do I have no money to pay for this stuff, but I am about to leave the job to start school again. Isn't it funny how god tries to test your patience somedays. I just turned it over, and said your will not mine be done here.

BTW...If anyone knows of any hunky gay mechanics that need some extra work send them my way. I am sure to supply them with an ample amount of work, and if I am paying for it might as well be hot.

Landlady Problems

2004-08-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well had a rough run in with the landlady today. I have a storage place in the basement that we and her cats share, and I place my nice duvet down there. Well Mr. Kitty Kat decided to piss all over my nice duvet. To say I was a little peeved would be an understatement. The problem is when you tell someone they are in the wrong, they always try to blame someone else. Well she tried to blame the room, the cat, and even the deposit money. What made me really mad was when she said she was going to only pay half of the money it took to clean the thing.

Here is just a little bit about me....I don't like it when people try to pass the buck, I don't like being taken advantage of, and I will call you on your bullshit. So, I basically said lady it was your cat and your problem and you are going to pay for this or else. A good resource to go to if you have landlord/tenant problems is Homeline. http://www.homelinemn.org/ I volunteered there and it is a great resource, and that was another thing about me...I do know something about landlord/tenant law and the landlady knew this...So she is paying for the whole duvet to be cleaned or replaced

Another reason to vote for Kerry!

2004-08-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it that Chief Justice Renquist and possibly two other supreme court justices are heading for retirement in the next four years. Renquist is waiting until the elections are over to retire. If the republicans have it there way, and get re-elected, Bush might have the huge advantage of appointing three supreme court justices, which could drastically affect the direction the court will take in the next 20 years!!!

What is even worse is that this news article that talks about Clarence Thomas being appointed to the position of Cheif Justice when Renquist retires. Eeck!! This would be bad news for anyone who cares anything about this country.

So, please go to this site and sign this petition started by the DNC to say that you are against appointing radical conservative judges to the court.

Tigger is going free!!!

2004-08-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

For all of you following the recent legal unfolding of poor Tigger down in Walt Disney World, you will be happy to know that he is going to be set free...It seems like the poor girl made up the story that Tigger groped her. Who would of thought a person making up a story to get some money from a large corporation.

A few of you may remember the now infamous coffee that spilled on the woman and that was purchased at McDonald's, and the millions she won. While it might seem on the onset that this was lawyers gone amok, which I don't deny has happened, the case actually had some legal merit. In fact it did turn out the coffee that McD's served was 10 to 20 degrees warmer than industry standards, because customers always complained about the coffee being cold when they drank it. So unfortunately, since McD's takes the responsibility to server food to drivers, they have the duty to make sure that it will not burn a person severely.

Whatever your view, it might be of some interest to see that there are organizations that are trying to limit the damages people can get from lawsuits.

The Same Sex Marriage Debate

2004-08-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

Cnn reported very exciting news out of Seattle today when a Superior Court judge issued an order declaring the statess anti-gay marriage act unconstitutional.

I was wondering just on what grounds the judges declared the ruling unconstitutional. So, I had to crack the dusty old books of the shelf. Since, I just took Con Law last semester I feel like i should remember right off the top, but a summer of doing nothing has made that a bad memory.

Here is the 101 on substantive due process.

Substantive Due Process comes from the 5th or the 14th Amendment.

5th: No person shall be...deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of the law

14th: Nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of the law.

The court has no problem when it says that people are protected and deserve procedural Due Process... getting served papers by the court so you can represent yourself in court, the right to an attorney...etc.

The court has also held that there are certain rights that are so fundamental that they should be protected by the constitution even if they are not enumerated in the document....right to privacy is a big one...right to use contraception...right to procreate. The problem occurs when the court tries to define these liberties, the right to engage in sodomy or the right to an abortion. There are people that say judges are conducting ad hoc decision making or imposing their ideas on the american public when they go to far.

So basically, the court is deciding that it is a fundamental right for same sex couples to get married, and the conservatives aresaying we are having liberal judges imposing their views on us.

Just thought that people would want to know...I am plethora of legal knowledge...ask away about this issue if care to do so.

2004-08-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

Tigger

Is nothing sacred?

2004-08-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

CNN reported today that a man dressed in a Tigger custome is being accused of molesting a girl while he worked at Walt Disney World. Now, I understand that the guy is innocent until proven guilty and all, and maybe the girl's parents are just trying to milk walt disney corp. for a few million (severe emotional distress), but what a terrible way to use a disney charecter to cop a feel.

It will be interesting to see how the justice system plays this one out.

Federal Constitutional Marriage Amendment

2004-08-02T21:54:00.000-07:00

I was just reading the Human Rights Campaigns website and started reading into the Federal Constitutional Marriage Amendment. While I have known about some of the interesting facts and figures that will affect us as GLBT folks if this is passed, I was made even more mad when I read these facts:

Oppose the Discriminatory “Federal Anti-Marriage Amendment”

1. Amending the Constitution to “define marriage as the union of a man and a woman” would actually deny more than 1,100 rights, protections and benefits to millions of devoted couples and their children.

2.Amending the Constitution is very rare and is only done to address great public policy needs. In our Constitution's 214-year history, it was first amended to include the Bill of Rights in 1791. Since then, it has only been amended 17 times.

3. Throughout American history, the Constitution has been amended to protect the rights and liberties of the American people. It has been amended to abolish slavery, to keep the government out of people's lives, and to give women and young people the right to vote. It should not be used to single out some Americans for discrimination.

3. Many of the major civil rights advances of the last century have resulted from the judicial branch stepping in to ensure that all Americans are provided equal protection under the law. From Brown v. Board of Education in 1954 to Loving v. Virginia in 1967, the courts have provided a necessary and constitutional check on governmental abuses of power and violations of individual rights. Adopting this amendment would take away the constitutional power of the courts to protect individual rights.

4. Such a cynical amendment illustrates a cruel irony about groups that call themselves "pro-family." The amendment proposed in the 108th Congress goes beyond defining marriage and seeks to deny gay families fundamental protections such as hospital visitation rights, inheritance rights and health care benefits. There is nothing pro-family about that.

5. This amendment not only attempts to deny equal rights to gays and lesbians, but it also attempts to undermine legislative and legal efforts to protect American families who are gay and lesbian couples and their children.

6. Several leading Republicans and conservatives, such as George Will and Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., oppose the amendment, seeing it as a clear violation of federalist principles.

7.Leading legal scholars agree that the amendment could forever invalidate civil unions or other legal protections for same-sex couples, like the right to partner health benefits or fair taxation upon the death of a partner – even if state legislatures passed them and voters approved them.

8. In a post-Sept. 11 world, it is very telling and shameful that the far right has nothing better to focus its energies on than introducing a gratuitous anti-gay constitutional amendment.

9.There is no groundswell of support for such an amendment except from anti-gay extremists. More than half the country, or 51 percent, favors allowing same-sex couples to form civil unions and receive the same basic legal rights as married couples, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll released March 10, 2004. Fifty-two percent of those polled in the March 4-7 survey oppose amending the U.S. Constitution to ban same-sex marriages and say the issue should be left up to the states. Same-sex marriage ranks as the least important of a dozen issues, including the economy, health care and the war on terrorism, it found.

10.A majority of Hispanics in the United States oppose amending the U.S. Constitution to ban same-sex marriages, according to an NBC News-Wall Street Journal poll. Fifty-three percent of Hispanics surveyed said they are against such a move, the March 6-8, 2004, survey found. In addition, Catholics are evenly split, on the amendment, with 48 percent opposed and 48 percent supportive of the amendment.

11.A Gallup Poll released in May 2003 showed that six in 10 Americans support giving same-sex couples the same legal rights as married heterosexual couples "regarding health care benefits and Social Security survivor benefits." The poll also showed that the country is evenly split, 49 percent in favor and 49 percent against, on allowing same-sex couples to legally form civil unions, giving them some of the legal rights of marriage. This is the strongest support to date in favor of gay and lesbian relationship recognition. In a Gallup Poll from May 2002, 46 percent of Americans favored civil unions, while 51 percent opposed them.

12. Although anti-gay forces are trying desperately to make marriage a divisive election issue, a September 2003 Gallup poll showed that only 12 percent of Americans felt that policies toward gays and lesbians were an important election issue, while almost half of those polled cited the economy, the war on terrorism, the situation in Iraq, creating jobs and education as the important issues in the 2004 election.

13. Past polling has shown that 90 percent of voters support hospital visitation for same-sex partners; and 66 percent support inheritance rights for same-sex couples.

Just thought you would like to know...

Happy Sunday

2004-08-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

I hope that you all had a fabulous weekend. I had a very exciting weekend. My good friend Wanda Wisdom moved in this weekend. Now I have a large supply of wigs and make-up products to make ourselves pretty. I actually am not into the drag thing, but love to watch Wanda get into. A girl has to do something to pass her time, right? Well I sure hope that you check her site out...look at my friends section.

Besides that, I have really just been enjoying my summer weekend. I just wanted to pass this nasty little site along to you all...I don't get repulsed by much...but when i saw this, I nearly lost it. It made me laugh too. http://movies.flabber.nl/diva.milkshake/

Talk to you soon.

Last Night Before Wanda Invasion

2004-07-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

Just kidding Wanda I love you....my good friend and famous drag queen wanda wisdom will be moving in here tomorrow. www.wandawisdom.com I love the girl to death, and we are like sisters. I am really looking forward to her arrival and our 24-7 gay dance party to start, but I do hate change sometimes. Being an alcoholic always lends a funny way of messing with ones ideas of change. It always has to go your way or no way...blah...blah...blah...Don't worry Wanda I got a sponsor and a good program, but just need to vent a little bit. Anyways, I always find that the best solution to this whole change thing is acceptance. Here is a little quote that gets me through the rocky times in life.

"Acceptance"

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems. today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation---some fact of my life---unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake..."

reprinted from (Alcoholics Anonymous page 449), with permission From A.A. World Services, Inc.

Anyways, I just wanted to put that in...have a nice day everyone...

Go Kerry/Edwards

Toodles

I miss Bill Clinton

2004-07-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

Bill Clinton
Well I just got done watching night one of the Democratic National Convention, and it was so great. I don't know if it is just me, but it is so awesome to see the party actually gettting together to defeat Bush. While, it was also so in 2000, I think that the fact that the presidency was robbed from us four years ago gives us democrats the added incentive to kick some republican butts.

What I most enjoyed about the evening was the speech by Bill Clinton. I just wished we could re-elect him for another term. What a statesman. The energy of the audience was so great...you could just see everyone light up when he walked on the stage. The truths he told about the bungled Bush presidency were great. He was so inspiring. I really miss him. Check this site out..it is a pretty cool site devoted to seeing what he is up to. http://www.clintonpresidentialcenter.org/index.htm

So, if you are not registered to vote get registered you idiot. Or do you want Bush to be in office another four years. Go here to register to vote. http://www.rockthevote.org/ Please do your part, or don't bitch about it.

Toodles

My new Links Section

2004-07-24T15:01:00.000-07:00

Well I have finally figured how to add links to this thing. I have added a few links to the side bar...It is just a start..but would like to see who reads my blog and add you to my friends links section (yet to be added), and any sober gals that want to be listed let me know. It is Saturday, so i am making this brief.

Toodles

Friday Night

2004-07-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well my good friend wanda wisdom www.wandawisdom.com and I sat down and had a heart to heart tonight over a cool strawberry milkshake, and girl let me tell you...that milkshake was good. We got to talking about the mens...and all that business about dating. It is always interesting to get another persons perspective, because my own perspective can get a little bit...how do I say this....nuts. Anyways, we talked about the mens and the phone call. I know girls we have all done it...sat around waiting for that special someone to call...and low and behold the boy never calls. Well, to say that I am grateful for my good friends that i have gotten since being sober would be an understatement. My friends now a days give me a shift kick in the head if they see me heading down that path...They say girl you better get your ass out of the house before I come over there and kick you out the house. They love me dearly, so I try to listen. Anyways, I just thought that i would give you some cute things to take your mind off any of those things that might cause you to obsess...http://www.cutestuf.com/cute_animals.html

Toodles

2004-07-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

Crazy Dog

Serving

2004-07-22T20:39:00.000-07:00

As some of you might know, I have been waiting tables for most of my adult life to fund former activities and schooling. Well, this has given me quite the opportunity to observe human behavior and develop patience, tolerance, and understanding for customers. I have had a ton of great experiences, and learned a lot, but the time of my serving is coming to end (hopefully). My pursuits in the legal field will start to surpass the resturant business soon. Anyways thought it would be interesting for the blog world to see some scary things serves think about...My motto be nice to your server.

Anyways...read these stories...they are kind of bitter, but funny. http://www.stainedapron.com/

Toodles...

Turn on the AC Girl!

2004-07-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

Well I finally broke down and got an AC. Now it might seem hard to believe, but I have not had an AC for awhile. Now, for all you that know me, I really need my sleep. This day of 90 degrees plus drove this cheap ass to go out and get one. It is amazing what a few sleepless night will do to a girl. Anyways, I just hope eveyone had some time to relax and enjoy a cool glass of ice tea or lemonade today...and don't worry it will be -30 degrees again before you know it, and we will be bitching about that too. So, enjoy the heat and crank up the ac girl.

Toodles.

A cute little song about our elections....

2004-07-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

Check this out...it is so cute...What a catchy song...
www.jibjab.com

Hope you are having a great weekend.

2004-07-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

I wonder if she will look good behind bars?

Poor Martha!

2004-07-16T20:39:00.000-07:00

Well the story seems to be winding down for our good friend Martha Stewart. I wonder how she will look in a bright orange prison attire, and I wonder if they will put her to work hammering out license plates? Oh well, I guess she is doing allright. She vows to be back, and I have no doubt that this work crazed woman will one day be in the light again. Plus, her stocks soared today...I guess she won't have a problem paying her $30,000 fine. While, the appeal process might get Martha one last chance..the chances are slim...So I think we should pay our homage to the diva of fine living and buy a woven basket or two at http://www.marthastewart.com/

Till next time.

IKEA is here!!!!

2004-07-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

Well had to check out the brand new ikea store on its first day, and this gb was very impressed. However, the amount people in there was a little overwhelming. It was well worth the crowds to see the really cool, yet cheap goods. I swear half the place was full of gay men...every GB from here to st. cloud must have been in there. However, what GB wouldn't love it. Just a suggestion to anyone heading out there...wear comfortable shoes...by the time this girl hiked her ass through the massive parking lot, and through the store..my feets were tired. I was definitely ready to sit down for a minute. I refrained from buying anything. Do wonders ever cease? However, I think I'll wait till wanda wisdom moves in with me...god only knows how many wigs and dresses she will have to take up space. Plus, rumor has it she wants to do the place up in pink because of my comments about it in my previous blog...Honestly, now honey..pink is great in blog land, but not so good when i am eating my cornflakes in the morning.

Well this girl is off to bed...she be tired.

Toodles

My Pink Blog

2004-07-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

Now everyone seems to have a good comment about my pink colored blog site. Well, to all you naysayers I like it. So there. Now don't get me wrong. I am not one of those gay boys that wears glitter and lip gloss, more into running shoes and a beat up old baseball cap. Oh, I hope I don't hurt any of those nelly type GBs out there, but it is just not my thing. Geez, I guess I shouldn't really worry about that..but it is in my nature. Nonetheless, I think the pink colored blog is nice...and until I find another one that suits me...it is going to stay.

Enough about the pink thing. I just wanted to check in to blog land and let people know about my adventures. GratefulGuy has been out and about lately in hot pursuit of the men. There just seems like there is a plethora of hotties running around the lakes this summer, and I can barely focus on my own run seeing these shirtless boys. I'll have to be careful, or I might run into a tree or something.

Besides working, running, and enjoying the boys, GratefulGuy decided to head out to Williams the other day to try his hand at a game of pool and darts. No that game of pool was that sadest thing i have ever seen. It literally took us forever to finish the game, but I had a good time making fun at us the whole time. The darts were actually very fun, and i can actually throw decent. Maybe we should form a bloggers dart league? Just a thought...

Well I am off for the night...

The Car Problems

2004-07-09T21:20:00.000-07:00

Well the problems with the car have been solved for the moment. She only robbed me of 250 bucks this time...At least it does not sound like a piece of junk any longer.

I always wonder what time frame those mechanics go by in those places...Being a broke student with no ride anywhere I had to sit around waiting for the car to get inspected and fixed. I kind of laughed to myself when they said they could get it inspected and fixed in an hour. I was like, yeah right. To make a long story short, got there at 9 am, and was finally out of there at 1 pm. One hour, ha. Now at least my good friend Wanda Wisdom won't feel so WT (white trash) driving in my car. Well, come to think of it, I don't think the fixed car will make Wanda any less WT. Sorry Wanda.

Anyways, my weekend is going to be filled with working and trying to jog. If anyone wants to join me on a nice 10 mile run on Sunday let me know, I always need a little coaxing, especially if my running partner is hot.

Anyways, I must head off to bed, so I can get my butt out of bed in the morning. Till tomorrow.

My day off!

2004-07-08T21:23:00.000-07:00

Well, my day off was eventful as usual. I awoke to finally see the sunshine...imagine that a nice day in Minnesota. Anyway, I strapped on my running shoes...oh yeah if any of you crazy kids are interested I am one of those nuts who will be running this thing called a marathon. In reality I really like torturing myself, and this is the best I can do. With the run done with for the day I sat down at the puter to find out it had gone haywire. I battled with it all morning, but unfortunately the damn thing won out. I walked off in disgust. Next, I drove to the auto dealership to fix my beautiful automobile. I am just praying the thing holds out till I am out of school, but she likes to spend my money lately. I guess she didn't get the memo that I am BROKE!

However, the day was salvaged by a nice stoll around the lake, to look at the hot boys, a sandwich at Vera's, and a meeting. To finish the night off a good chat with my friends. I must tell you that my good friend Wanda Wisdom has started her own little website wandawisdom.com. This little drag queen is a fellow sobriety sister, and will be my roomie in a few weeks. I have yet to decide if that is a good thing...Just kidding Wanda.

Anyways I have to get to bed...

2004-07-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

A little mystery is a good thing.

My first entry.

2004-07-07T15:47:00.000-07:00

Well...I feel that I should join the rush of people who feel that they should post their ideas and thoughts for all the world to see. I guess if they can do that why shouldn't I? I am not really sure what exactly I should put on a blog site, but I guess whatever I want. For now I will keep it short and sweet, so not to overwhelm the newcomers of my crazy insights into life. However, stay tuned for there is a whole new gay blogger out there.

Till next time.